In the past we made it our main priority to check into member's profiles and attempt to verify their identity. We found that most of our members are who they claim to be. However, we did find a small percentage of members who were not entirely truthful in their profile. Some of these members flat out lied and others were just protecting their privacy, which is well within their rights.
We then later discovered that some of the members who we had attempted to verify had fooled us and were not, in fact, who they said they were. This is a small percentage and is not indicative as to our entire database, but these sorts of issues have caused us great concern.
We have had instances where personal issues, outside and exclusive of our services, have caused some members to report other members as being imposters. They literally chose to use our services as a way to "get even" with each other.
In short, we have found that it is physically impossible for us to guarantee the accuracy of any member profile in our database. It is just not possible and at this point we refuse to be involved in actual relationships between members.
Just so you know that we are not trying to be lazy or that we just don't care, here are some of the techniques that we have tried to use to verify our members and a few of the reasons why they have not worked:
1. The "Real Seal".
We used to have the "Real Seal". You might have seen this sort of thing on other sites. In order to get this seal a member is required to hold an empty cardboard "frame" around their faces for a picture. On this frame the words, "We are from CouplesBiFm.com" should be written. We thought for sure that this method would be an accurate way to deduce the identity of the member in question.
--> Why it did not work:
Photoshop and other similar programs make it very easy for ANY person to edit these types of photos. We also found that people can easily talk friends or acquaintances into posing for their picture as a favor, thus submitting an image of a woman for a male profile (or visa-versa).
2. Verification by another member.
We thought if we felt comfortable that we had verified the identity of one of our members and we had offered the "Real Seal" that we could allow a referral from one these members as verification for another.
-->Why it did not work:
Well, if our "Real Seal" program was not an accurate tool for verification of our core members, we just could not trust that their referrals could be used as verification for other members.
3. Verification by phone.
We have an option where a member can call and speak to us in person or leave a voice message in order to verify their identity.
-->Why it did not work:
Well, we are still using this method, but you can imagine how easy it would be for a young man to call and impersonate a woman's voice (or the other way around). We also realize that a man can easily get a woman friend to make this call for him. It is just not an accurate tool for verification of one's identity. We leave it up to help discourage would-be imposters from trying to post bogus profiles, but it is entirely possible that we are being duped here too.
4. Verification by photo.
We thought that we could have the member send in a photo for verification. A couple could send or post an image of either the woman or both partners. Single members simply sent in a recent photo or posted it in their profile.
-->Why it did not work:
This method failed the same as our first idea. It is just too easy to edit photos, send in bogus photos or send in photos that are years old.
We still recommend sending in photos as they can be used as a tool. For instance: If you find a person with whom you want to contact, ask them to send you a different photo than what is in their profile so you can compare them. While this is still not a guarantee, it might be harder for an imposter to get the same person that helped them the first time to pose for another photo on short notice.
5. Verification in person.
This one could actually be 99% effective. If we know a member or have had the opportunity to meet them then we will post in their profile that they were verified personally, by us.
-->Why it will not work:
There is just no way in the world that we could take the time needed to personally visit every member in our database. Our database is an international database with members from all over the world. Even if we could visit them all, there is still no guarantee that these people would be who they say they are. Fake IDs, stand ins, and flat out liars will always slip through the cracks, even in person.
So you can see that this issue is an impossible one. We would LOVE to verify all of our member's identities but we just cannot do so. We suggest that if you are looking for a partner, that you would take the same care in your selections online as you would in the real world. Don't let a bad apple now and then ruin your search and be smart about which you choose to meet.
Construct your own verification process.
- Ask for photos with today's newspaper showing the date in front of the person.
- Talk with them on the phone.
- Set up a web-cam meeting with them. Most people don't know that many of the new operating systems have this software already available. Just go get a camera and set it up.
- Set up your first meeting in a public place with plenty of people around you.
- Don't prolong an online relationship if a person is unwilling to provide extra verification. Stop right there and move on.
In conclusion, we strive to keep our members as honest as we can. We don't employ tricks to get our members to sign up and we let them know that we are watching. We use IP tracking on our database and a member is allowed only ONE profile. We do our best to verify who we can. BUT…There will always be members who are smarter, richer or more determined than we are and they will do whatever they want to do.
Honesty starts with us and we are doing the best we can. Just be careful and realize that NO ONE who has a site of this nature could possibly verify all of their members. Take charge of your relationships and be smart about who you meet. And last but not least, don't let the bad seeds out there ruin your online dating experience. There are thousands of people in our database who are who they say they are and who are probably just as concerned as you. Find them and have fun!
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